Boys should never have ponytails

Well, despite an uproar among family and friends, I am still here blogging away. Todays embarrassing events couldn't have happened on a more perfect day. You see, as i awoke this morning I was delighted (rather horrified) by the 20 feet of snow outside my window. I knew this day was off to a rocky start. But despite my "i'd rather eat dog poop, then go outside" mentality, I put on my gear and began my trek to class. Well dear readers, you guessed it, throughout my day on campus I fell a whopping four times, (not including my downfall on the shuttle). New Genius world record? I think so. But that is not the sad tale I would like to share with you today, you see, if you think my life couldn't get any more interesting...it did.
You see, this story I am about to tell happened quite awhile ago, but it is definitely worth sharing. So, hold on to your hats because things are about to get ugly.
It all started when my family and I decided to take a family outing to the grand ole' Farmington Pool! Booyah! So, we jumped in and began our day of splashing, tanning, and soggy peanut butter sandwiches. As the day strolled on, my sister, kate, and I began fighting (or joking rather). But things turned ugly when the little twit decided to dunk me under the water without my knowledge. Oh, baby, she was going to regret the day she ever held my head under that water. So with anger a burnin, I gripped her head as hard as I could and slammed her under the water, over and over and over and over again. This went on for a good 20 seconds. MUAHH! Sucker!......ok, there is a common trend here. You see, I failed to realize that in fact, I did not almost drown my poor sister, but rather some scrawny, pony-tailed ten year old boy. Yes, you heard me. The moment I realized this, he was literally gasping for air and balling his little eyes out. HOLY SNICKIES! Yet again, amongst immense pressure, I fail to say the right things to my poor victims. Wanna know what I said this time? Ok, here's one for ya.."Um...I'm...sorry....I thought you were my sister." Janie you truly are a class A wack job. Not only have you almost drowned this poor kid, but now you are telling him that you confused him as a girl.
Well to make a long story short, he climbed out of the water and ran over to his ginormous mother (No joke, this lady's bosoms could have fed a third world country) who was now blowing steam from her ears and creating earthquakes as she stomped over to me. O boy, was I  going to get it. But lucky for me, I quickly went under water and swam away camouflaging myself with the other 20 billion kids in the pool.
So, from that day on, I have never stepped a foot in Farmington pool again. And you know something else....I hate boys with ponytails. Idiots.