I'm going to do it

I'm not one to publicly talk about life's struggles or tribulations, but I feel like in order for me to overcome some of these, I should just write them down. So this post is my inner most, raw feelings.

For as long as I can remember I have been overweight. Because of some of life's occurrences, and the fact that food is just too yummy, I turned to food in times of struggle, heartache, celebration, fear, jubilation and triumph. Frankly, I'm embarrassed and deeply saddened that this is how I let things turn out. BUT things are going to change. That horrid phrase of "My diet starts tomorrow.." is going out the door, and I am going to change my life.

In the past, my reasoning for wanting to be thin varied from reason to reason. "If I were skinny, so and so would like me" or "If I were skinny, I would have gotten that job." Well, I want to do this for me. I want to be happy, and most of all, I want to love who I am. I want to find that girl that is deep down inside of me, and pull her out. That girl deserves to love her body and herself.

So, here is to a healthier, happier future. I know with the help of friends, family, and most of all the lord, I can do it......


.......... and you better believe I will.

How Can you not love her

So, back in October (?) I got to see this lovely perform. Needless to say in the next life...I will have her voice..... and her glasses.

A whole lot of somethin

It's exactly 5:10 and I am sitting at home by my lonesome so here is what you get:

Ten Things I wish I could say to 10 Different People

1. I miss you. 

2. I think you are the hottest thang that ever hit the planet

3. Um..I think you and I could make some really cute children but maybe it's just me

4. I admire you to the moon and back

5. Stop being so dramatic. Everything will be fine

6. I wish you could see how great you are.

7. You are so much better than that

8. I know it's hard, but you can do it

9. I love you I love you I love you

10. I told you so

Nine Things About Myself

1. I'm in love with fashion. really though...I hear wedding bells. 

2. I think I have short term memory loss.

3. I love to organize/clean (when I'm in the right mood)

4. Sometimes I secretly wish I could run away and live in a cottage in Ireland...and marry Gerard Butler..but that's beside the point.

5. I want to be a Kardashian

6. I need to learn to spend my money....and when I say spend I really mean save. 

7. I wish I was crafty

8. I'm excellent with directions. Take me somewhere once and I could take you there again. 

9. I think about bizarre situations as I lay in bed at night. For instance: Who would come to my funeral if I died? And what pictures or music would they use for the slideshow?  

Eight Ways to Win my Heart

1. Make me laugh... Guaranteed win.

2. Sticking up for your friends/family even when it might be "un-cool"

3. Speak to me with a foreign accent, preferably irish? ok great.

4. Be spontaneous. I'll love you forever

5. Go after what you want and be ambitious.

6. Adore your mamma

7. Love and serve others.

8. Being brown

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot

1. Oooh she looks cute. Where did she get that shirt?

2. I need another job

3. What's going on tonight? Where can I find cute boys to hang out with?

4. What am I doing with my life. I feel so unaccomplished.

5. I hope (insert person I know here) is doing ok.

6. Who will I marry?

7. I need to work out

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep

1. This sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I think about clothes that I wish I had that don't even exist.

2. Brush my teeth.

3.  Set my alarm and check it at least twice.

4. Have some one on one time with the Man upstairs.

5. Blog stalk

6. Tell my mom I love her

Five People-or Groups of People- Who Mean A Lot To Me

1. My Grandparents-basically perfect. Adore them.

2. My Madre and paps.

3. Let's be honest...anyone brown. I love my colored folk

4. My bestest friends (you know who you are)

5. Jesus

Four Things I'm Wearing

1. Black leggings

2. Floral shirt/dress thingy

3. toe ring

4. gold dangly earings

Three Songs I Listen To Often

1. Roslyn- Bon Iver and St. Vincent

2. Please Don't Go- Mike Posner

3. Anything to do with Coldplay

Two Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Be a mom and a good one at that

2. Run a marathon

One Confession:

I wish I could change someone's life for the better

Let's get REAL

If I'm being 100 percent honest....

I feel like an 800 pound beached whale.


.....somethings gotta change.

A Bunch of Ramblings..AKA vent central..AKA...bored?

Lately I have come down with a bad case of the "ornery's". (I know that word looks like it says "horny's...but look again. It says Ornerys. I do not have a bad case of the hornies, but if I did, that would make a pretty interesting post. No?) Bad news right? I kid you not, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is making me mad/grumpy/make me want to punch their pretty little faces in. Watch out, scary Janie on the loose. Honestly I keep telling myself I need to change my attitude, but then something happens and I feel like i'm going to explode. So I have decided I need to list blessings I have received in the last little while and in my life. I think this might help cure this bad case of the uglies.

BLESSINGS I HAVE RECEIVED RECENTLY:

1. I got the job I wanted soooooo bad!! I get to work at Kid's Camp this summer! It is a camp for kids..well duh, it's called "kids camp". Anyways, I get to teach cooking with one of my good friends and can I just say I screamed a lot when I found out I got the job. Needless to say, my job kicks some serious bootay

2. School is almost over and I have semi-ok grades. I am not a smarty pants by any means, but I think I have managed to get a decent report card. Let me think I'm doing alright. Ok?

3. I have the cooolest friends on the planet. Case closed. Just take a gander at this bad boy..

mmhmm.. those are pillow pets. I think they should win some award for being their rad selves.

4. The weather has been beautiful. Don't know how long this will last, but that has been a mood-lifter for sure.

5. Getting my Patriarchal blessing. Can I just tell you how A-MAZING this was. Balled my eyes out fur sure

6. Having the most amazing grandparents on the history of the universe. Seriously my grandma is jesus

Wow...I already feel better...we will see how long that lasts....

Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Awkward:

1. Being alone with just one other person in the elevator. Do you say something to each other or just sit there in silence? I dunno!
2. Having a boy tell me to "really spread out and open up my legs"....it was for ice blocking purposes..but still. Um what?
3. Not washing my hair for three days now..naw..actually that's pretty awesome
4. Reading a poem at work entitled "My fart smells like this." yes. A fourth grade kid made a whole poem about his own gas.
5. Sitting outside my class because the door was locked..only to realize everybody was already inside and I should have just knocked
6. Stepping on a worm today and looking up to find some kid tell me, "It's ok, if it splits in half it will still live" .....uh....ok?


Awesome:

1. This photo:

Tell me I don't look like Sid the sloth from ICE AGE

2. The fact that there are only two more weeks left of school! Bless the heavens above!
3. Somebody telling me I look cute. That always makes my day. People are just so nice!
4. Having a job interview on Saturday! Summer job here I come!
5. Going to the "Date Doctor" show tonight. Yes, there is a real-life date doctor. The movie "Hitch" was based off of him (but the real dude is white). It was hil-larious! And not to mention...quite useful!
6. Having my english paper be voted in the top 3 of my class! Goll I thought that would only happen when hell froze over.

Friday Night Blues

I hate to hate beautiful people. But when you're that pretty....It makes the rest of us look bad.

Grow a zit or somethin...

ugh.